I look back at these things that i felt way back when

it makes me appreciate the struggle i DID win.

reading old thoughts makes me sad but i smile

All the things i went thru were really worth while.

I care so much about him it hurts

Ive never felt this way

about a single individual

I can trust him

telling him that i love him is never enough

I could never ever

be stupid enough to leave you

or break your heart.

iloveyou

I cant even explain it

empty

lost in this confusion
strangled and torn
another day crumbles
in solid black form
heart so empty
not even possible
is this the way everyone feels?
if they do life must not be at all interesting
i just don't understand why we were put here to suffer
I mean why do people mourn death
they should really be celibrating it
isn't that all they wait for?
everyone is always preparing for the future
but what is their to prepare ourselves for?
nothing!!
just a long hard life of striving for money and hardly getting any rest
not getting anything you want unless you bust your ass for it.
what is the point??
we go to school
we do all this for our future when all we are gonna do is work our whole life
their is nothing to look foward to
just another day of misery
it has to be like that for everyone
just working their ass off to live in a house instead of on the streets
i would rather live on the streets and party all the time
then have to work for the rest of my life
their is no point in living for only more misery and more preparing for the future
it is always about tommaro
what about today??
we will never enjoy ourselves EVER!!!
and if we do it will only be for a minimum time until we have to go back to all the bullshit.
yeah everyone says that "thats how life is" but then whats the whole point?

crumbling

lost in this confusion

strangled and torn

another day crumbles

in solid black form

what will tommaro be like?

will it still be the same

trying and trying

but loosing at this game

struggling and tired

foresaken and lost

does my happiness come with a cost?

if it does

i have nothing to give

but any longer

and i might not be able to live.

This lonelyness kills

I wish he knew that i made a mistake

After all this time I still sit here and wait

I ruined it all

I think of what it could have been

I think of what WE could have been

now it will never be the same

I will be lucky if he even remembers my name

He loves someone else now

I wish he knew how much I still think about him

Its been long since we talked

I cant even remember when

It hurts me alot

more than I thought

but I guess I will have to move on

All because of what I did wrong

='(

phsycotic

I'm far from normal

yet close to the same

wild and crazy

yet simple and plain

loving my life

but hating the world

happy and exited

but dramatically bored

crushed by comments

and fed by their words

covered in flowers

stabbed by swords

singing from love

singing from hatred

sitting and laughing

but still crying for what he did

partially my fault

partially his

sit here and wonder

could this be undid"

Why Her?

Never thought this could happen.

not again, anyways.

it just came out of no where

leaving me in this great pain

I hope I could get through this

hope it goes by fast

But it may be just to much for me to grasp

why did it have to be her

she never did anythig wrong

The minutes pass by so dreadfully long

why couldn't it have been me

i'm shure everyone would agree

she doesnt deserve all this pain

its just too much

enough to drive me insane

I sit here wondering what to do

and what i should have done

hopefully these clouds will go away

reveling the sun.

Sinking

My mind is racing

doesn't know where to stop

had under water

in this rancid black swamp

don't know what to think

can't even breath

this helplessness takes over

and weakenes my knees

will tommaro be better

or will it just be the same

a mind so numb

can't even remember my name

I know i'm not stoned

I just feel so alone

in a world just not meant for me.

Insanity

I wonder if anyone gets as bored as I do...

Not just bored, but bored with the whole world.

It feels like every day is the same.

nothing new.

So much the same that you could almost predict exactly what is going to happen.

It is kind of scary because you wonder

wether or not the rest of your life is going to be like that.

wether it is worth living.

SCARY